Bucket List or F*ck It List…?
Many people talk about having a Bucket List – a list of items, activities or experiences one wants to have before they “Kick the Bucket”. Some may wish to climb a mountain, do stand-up comedy or write a book. Others may want to see their favourite band in concert, get re-aquatinted with an old flame or backpack across Europe. You may have always wanted to start your own company, launch a new product or live in another country. Some of these items require physical endurance while others require boldness, mindset or hutzpah, and some still may require financial support which may keep them on your list a little longer.
Your own Bucket List may contain one or several of these items or it might be completely different, but most people can think of at least one thing they want to accomplish before they die or retire, just to say, “I did that”.
But do you have a F*ck It List…? A list of items you no longer have to do because you have done it enough times that it no longer provides enjoyment or excitement OR, things that you no longer have to do because you no longer have to prove yourself anymore, OR, the things you stop doing to make room for the things you need to do in order to feel whole.
The FI-List may not necessarily be written down, it might not even be thought of consciously at first, but something tends to happen around the age of 50 years where you have become comfortable enough with yourself Or, it could be after a big life event like a serious illness OR, living through a global pandemic – when you are finally able to say “F*ck it! I don’t have to do that anymore”.
You can have a personal FI-List which frees you and it might include stopping all the people-pleasing activities, no longer worrying about what clothes to wear or the colour of your hair, or knowing you never have to stand in line at Disney World again. F*ck it!
Or a professional FI-List. When you chose jobs that satisfy your craving for meaning and purpose, leaving jobs that provide nothing more than just collecting a pay cheque. Saying ‘no more’ to soul-sucking scripted work and instead, consciously seeking opportunities to bring your whole creative self to work. The Great Resignation has been fueled by the need to say “F*ck It!”
Now once you start your FI-List, it may empower you to keep adding more unsatisfying items until eventually you are left with only the things you enjoy doing, the things that give you pleasure, value or reward, the things that serve your need for meaning, purpose or to give back. Not the things that keep you up at night, but the ones that get you up in the morning.
The FI-List may require you do some self-acceptance first and recognizing your own value and worth before you can stop wondering or worrying about what others think.
One of the items on my Bucket List, is to grow my FI-List.
We are all a work-in-progress. You may wish to sit down and craft a list now or you may say F*ck It.
This post was inspired by a conversation with an accomplished Entrepreneur, Author and Mom who just returned from Disney with her kids (for the last time ever!)